【Sunshower Grove】 CH4.01: Staying Away (I)
Updated: Oct 7
CH4.01: Staying Away (I) 【Suu】
The next few days had Suu feeling like there were way more than twenty-four hours in a day. Hours packed tight with two very irritating problems.
The first problem, was that her friends smothered her with veiled threats, brutal roasts, and desperate pleas to ‘spill’ the truth. “How the hell do you know Vaishaka Desakshi?”, was the golden question.
Sadly, neither Loh nor Yaa bought any of her ‘he’s just a customer’ explanations. Loh threatened to perform brain-surgery on her to ‘extract’ the truth (in Loh’s words, “I don’t care that Pharmacy doesn’t teach that,”); and Yaa threatened to stop bringing her free snacks from her family’s restaurant. That second threat felt like an actual stab to the chest. But Suu swallowed her disappointment and refused to elaborate.
“If little Miss ‘He’s-just-a-customer’ ends up falling for the ‘Customer’,” Loh declared to Yaa as they packed up to leave for their classes, “then she owes us both ten gold coins each,” she scowled.
“You nerds owe me twenty if nothing happens,” Suu taunted back, and the girls arrived at a solid deal. All sorted out; minus the teasing.
The second problem was far more insidious: Suu hated how she couldn’t get that Fox-faced ‘customer’ out of her mind. Thoughts about him seemed to get under her skin like an irritating itch. And it wasn’t just him, there was a little something else too.
That little book he’d flashed her. That stupid, cute little book and its weathered edges. Memories of it kept her awake at night. It plagued her dreams, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. This is so f—king stupid, she admitted to herself.
If only she hadn’t gotten such a good look at it back then. Of that deep red, almost blood-like shade of its cover. It was surprisingly small, reminding her of the custom notebooks that Pa used to bind for her back in school. They were so much easier to use with her small hands compared to the huge slab-like notebooks that most kids used. The teachers weren’t happy about it, but they were more than happy about Pa sharing the custom-size notebooks with several other smaller children in class, free of charge.
But what was a book of that size doing in Fox-face’s pocket? It’s none of my godsdamned business, let’s be honest, Suu sighed to herself.
And to be even more honest, the size was probably a coincidence, seeing that any book would probably look tiny in Fox-Face’s unreasonably large hands; at least she thought as much from having stared at them. Not to mention his thick, long fingers—she slapped herself and took a deep breath. STOP IT.
If nothing else, the book was clearly important to him. If he had it on him during lectures, it was safe to assume he had it on him at all times. Maybe? Well, whatever it was, it was clear he didn’t want people peeking into it. Or maybe he was just teasing her with it.
Either way, none of my business, she decided.
Some truths were better left buried within never-to-be-opened pages, or so she believed. If her high-school Physics textbook taught her anything, that was it. She wished she’d never opened that f—king thing, and the only reason she believed in higher powers was because she somehow managed to pass that exam.
But back to Fox-face and his Secret Book. She briefly wondered if it was just straight up raunchy sh*t written in there. The thought of which made her grimace. Not that there was anything wrong with it per se, but just like his voice, that would be yet another thing that didn’t quite jam with his pretty little face.
Speaking of faces, Pa seemed to have forgotten all about Fox-face, so that was a tiny bit of relief amidst the p*ss storm that she’d sailed into. Be that as it may, Suu’s curiosity soared sky-high, and between the lack of sleep and constant teasing from her friends, her self-control began to unravel bit by bit.
While this raged on, Fox-face thought it was a good idea to visit the bookstore; although to be fair to him, he did come by on a specific day she’d listed out. Professor Desakshi had sent back a confirmed list—she wanted to buy every single book in it—and Fox-face paid up front. Now, it was just a matter of the young man coming over to pick up those books. There was little to complain about, at least on paper.
With Pa away with teaching classes, she didn’t jolt as much when her star customer sauntered into the bookstore.
“Nice to see you again, Fox-face,” she tossed him her well-practiced, retail smile. Fox-face smiled right back, looking around, possibly to make sure they weren’t being watched by other customers. But when he sauntered over to talk to her, Suu ducked her head under the counter. When she heard a confused ‘whoa, where’d you go?!’, she immediately popped back up, pulling out an already packed bag of books from the Professor’s order. Fox-face’s confused smile faltered.
“Wow, Cat-Eyes,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “Trying to kick me out already? I was hoping to browse some books today,” his voice fell.
Suu tossed him a smile that rivaled fake gold. “Do you really need another book when you’ve allegedly got ‘the greatest piece of literature’ tucked away in your undies?” she pointed at his pant-pocket that held his little book. Its outlines stuck out a smidge, as if to prove her point.
For a few moments, Fox-face stared, blinking several times. He then made a sound and a face that admittedly made Suu want to laugh hard, but she clamped her lips together. What she didn’t want to admit even more, was that his low, rumbling laughter lit up something entirely unfamiliar inside her.
Adding that to my ‘sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, she mumbled in her mind.
“Well what’s,” he choked out while biting back another wheeze. “Well what’s your favorite type of book then?”
“Fake relationship romances,” she lied through her teeth without skipping a beat; very pleased with herself. “With lots and lots and lots of sloppy romance.”
Fox-face’s eyebrows arched. “Thought you said that wasn’t your favorite type of story to read,” he lowered one eyebrow into a frown. His tone made it clear he didn’t believe a word of what she’d said.
Suu’s face nearly hurt from the flashy grin that reached her eyes. “I was obviously lying.” She watched with great satisfaction as Fox-face’s pretty face scrunched with annoyance.
Once he left to browse, she began billing one of the other customers. Although she politely engaged with them, she constantly had an eye out for a familiar head of long hair in a half-up bun. Still worse, a tiny part of her wished for him to stay longer and—she paused.
‘Sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, entry number two. She went about her work.
Several minutes later, Fox-face stood in front of her with one single book. She tried her best not to make a face at him, but as she wrote down his bill, she realized it was a fake-relationship romance novel. She could feel him leering at her with a cheeky smile, so she did her best to finish his purchase up without looking at him.
Watching him stuff his new book and a portion of his mother’s order into his bag, she finally looked up at him, only to find him already smirking at her—and then he leaned in.
Her eyes locked with his at a respectable distance, but it didn’t matter with how much of a tease he was being. Heart thundering in her chest, she watched as a few of his locks nearly teased the side of her face. A sly smile spread across his lips.
“Greatest piece of literature tucked away in my undies for sure,” he said in a low whisper as he tapped his pocket. Before she could react, he poked his tongue out at her and immediately left the store, leaving her in a wide-eyed, simmering, warm-faced mess.
‘Sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, entry number…oh I hope he runs into a lamp-post, she rubbed her palms against her warm face, unable to control her embarrassing smile.
The next morning, she made up her mind: she was going to find out what the hell was written in that godsdamned little book.
Is it any of my business? Not one bit, she reminded herself again. But I must do this for Science.
What if that book contains the secrets to the universe?
Realistically, it’s probably a bunch of sh*tty pick-up lines.
But I must find out. For Humanity.
She started out easy enough, asking the only three girls in his course if they’d ever seen Fox-face walk around with that little book. They glanced at each other worriedly before admitting they had no idea, except one girl who seemed to be deep in thought.
“This is just hearsay, but…” she studied Suu’s face with a slight frown. “…but I have heard of him carrying a little book around, yes. I hear he laughs when he reads it.”
“Any idea what its all about?” Suu looked at the girl with her eyes full of hope.
Please, anything at all I can roast him with, she yelled in her mind.
“No clue, I’ve never seen him read it in class,” the girl admitted with a sigh. Suu nodded and thanked her, but the girl pat her shoulder and gave her a concerned squeeze. “But let me tell you this, little sis. I think you should probably stay away from him.”
Next stop, University Library. Mrs. Sarang sat up straight as a flagpole the moment Suu mentioned Fox-face’s name.
“A little red book that Mr. Desakshi carries around…?” the old librarian looked down with a frown. After thinking for a bit, she looked at Suu with a solemn face. “I don’t think he’s ever borrowed something like that from here, and well…it could just be a personal diary, little one.”
Suu slumped her shoulders and sighed as she considered Mrs. Sarang’s words.
She’s probably right, I— before she could finish that thought, Mrs. Sarang’s hesitant voice called out to her.
“Err, listen, little one. While I’m sure Mr. Desakshi is not a bad person…” the old librarian whispered in a concerned tone. Suu blinked when she recognized the expression on the old woman’s face—just like the girls in Fox-face’s class. “…I think you should probably stay away from him.”
Thanking her, Suu decided to give up. For the day, of course. Because she’d made up her mind, unfortunately, that she’d get down to the bottom of that raggedy little book.
Vriya City was a big place after all, and she knew her way around for the most part. There were places she could go to and people she could ask about Fox-face and his little book. All she had to do was braid her hair nice and tight, put on some nice clothes, and carry around a shoulder-bag (no one needed to know it was empty).
Unfortunately, by the third day of her ‘investigative journalism’, she’d seen and heard enough to write an actual newspaper article.
The local printers had looked at her as if she were a lost child; the City Library’s manager had asked her if things at home were okay; and the Book-binding store’s owner had stared at her with pure alarm. That old lady went onto tell her that her parents were good people and that she shouldn’t be giving them a hard time in their old age.
All that, tossed in with snips and scraps of information about Fox-face. Information that she entirely didn’t know what to do with.
It ranged across “He won’t dress like it but his family’s loaded”, “Don’t let the pretty face fool you girl, that boy’s a bison”, “Yeah he used to part-time in heavy construction, somewhere in Urai. Strong kid, that one”, and “Tattoos? Those are protective charms from the River Shrine; made by the Jālan head-priestess there. Safe to assume that the boy’s been through some sh*t in his life, that’s all I’ll say.”
Worst of all, every single one of those people had ended their conversations with the same, hushed, unsolicited advice: “You should probably stay away from him.”
By the end of the third and final day, Suu found herself watching a bunch of scraggly little boys and girls playing hoop; scrambling to dunk a large colorful ball through a metal hoop on a pole. Drumming her fingers on her thigh, she was lost in thought. Memories of her childhood came rushing back to her; specifically of Prasu winning ever single game of hoop against her. It helped that he was the size of a small tree, of course. Presently, she had half a mind to chuck a certain stupid little book right through the hoop, wondering how many points that would give her.
Oh, what the hell.
Having nothing left to lose, she called out to the little kiddos and asked them if they’d ever seen a ‘long-haired big-brother with a tattooed arm walking around with a stupid little red book anywhere in town’. They didn’t even let her finish her question before they started glancing at each other like a bunch of worried puppies.
There’s no way they know him, Suu’s left eye twitched. Is this what it feels like to win the lottery?! But before she could ask any further, words were already being directed at her.
“Big-sis,” one of the children, a tall young girl, began anxiously, “you should probably stay away from him.”
Suu blinked several times as the kids looked at her with the same worried faces she’d seen over the last few days. It was almost as if she was hallucinating.
“He shared banana chips with us yesterday though,” a little boy chimed in, and the next moment the kids broke out chattering amongst themselves. Suu stared at them continuously until the same taller girl addressed her again.
“He’s kind to us, yes, but…” the girl paused, scratching her head. “…but he rarely smiles. He looks so sad, you know? But…the elders in our neighborhood tell us he’s dangerous because he has tattoos, so...”
Sad? Suu frowned, thinking back to Fox-face and his coy smiles. “That makes no sense,” she countered, genuinely concerned. “They shouldn’t worry so much unless he’s a criminal or something,” she said with an exaggerated tone.
It brought her no joy to think of Fox-face from the point-of-view of judgmental old folks, but she could kind of see their concern. There was a menacing air about him, unfortunately. She thought back to the day they’d met at the university dining halls, and Yaa’s words drifted across her mind: “He just seems to be this…miserable recluse, or something.”
When Suu looked at the little girl again, the child was looking at her with tented eyebrows. “Big-sis, can you keep a secret?” She nearly whispered.
A frown flashed across Suu’s face for a moment before she gave the girl a reassuring nod. “Of course,” she extended her open palm. “I won’t tell anyone, not a soul. I promise.”
The girl nodded before placing her hand on top to seal their vow. Suu immediately gave her a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she added quickly, hoping she wasn’t too late.
“I don’t mind. And you promised, so…” the girl continued with another nod. “…so, about that Big-bro with the tattooed arm, um, I’ve heard a rumor about him.”
“Oh,” Suu kept a straight face as a sinking feeling twisted in her stomach. “What did you hear? Again, I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
The young girl looked around to make sure the rest of the kids were busy playing a safe distance away before she met Suu’s worried gaze.
“Well, I heard that he…um, he went to jail,” her voice was a low whisper. “He went to jail when he was a kid. That’s what I heard my neighborhood grannies say.”
Suu stood there for several moments as she registered the girl’s words. It felt like getting doused in ice, just like back in the dining hall. But before she could think things through, her thoughts became spoken words. “Did they talk about his crime?”
The young girl began to shake her head from side to side, until she paused. She then looked at Suu as though she’d just remembered something. “I think…it was because he beat someone up. An elder man, I think. But I don’t know the truth.”
———
Hope sinking with the setting sun, Suu sat down on the stone benches by the riverbank, having bid goodbye to the little kids. Her motivation was down in the dumps, and she couldn’t help but feel like an idiot, somehow. Her little ‘investigation’ could count as stalking, in some sense. That made her grimace to the point of physical pain, and it was then that she decided to entirely give up. Wash her hands clean off this case. It wasn’t worth the soap, as far as she could tell.
Maybe everyone had a point when they constantly sent her away with ‘you should probably stay away from him’. Just this once, maybe they were right.
Fox-face could keep his little secret humankind-saving book; at the end of the day it truly was none of her business. In the distance, a bunch of crows cawed into the sunset, and she half-expected one of them to land in front of her and tell her in very concerned bird-language, “Girl you should probably stay away from him.” And if it did happen, she’d probably just sit there and nod, and caw back “yeah, you’re probably right.”
The sun began to look like a red traffic light peaking through growing bands of bluish-gray clouds. Suu took that as a cue to leave, because the last thing she wanted was to end her day with a free shower from the sky.
Getting up, she stretched hard and shook her head in disappointment. She could’ve spent the day helping out at the store, but instead all she knew now was that there was a lot more to Fox-face than what met the eye. A small part of herself wished she knew more. A small part of herself that she cussed out for being such a curious fool. She stared at the red, sinking dot on the horizon again.
A wave of sadness swept over her for a moment, nearly jolting her from the sudden onslaught. Try as she might, her feet refused to move for several moments as the feelings washed over her.
Get a grip, she chided herself as she turned to leave. ‘Ignorance is bliss’ or whatever folks say.
Two steps forward, and she immediately locked eyes with the last person she wanted to meet.
Fox-face stood a little way ahead of her, looking equally surprised at her presence. Suu flinched, scrubbed her eyes, and blinked several times to make sure she really wasn’t hallucinating. When the long-haired human brick-wall barely moved, she figured he was a stubborn one.
“It really is you,” he said slowly, staring and blinking several times. His tone told her that he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “What’re you doing here?”
Suu blinked back; it wasn’t like she could believe it either. She tightened the grip on her bag’s shoulder-straps. “What’re you doing here?!” she bit down her panic.
There was so much she wanted to ask him at that moment, but those were lines she couldn’t cross just yet. Worse, the only thing she could focus on was the fact that he looked a little different—with his hair down and flying in the wind, his eyes wide, and his mouth open ever so slightly.
Oh Gods, I’m going nuts, her eyebrows tented. “This can’t be real,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Gods, I’m seriously hallucinating.”
“You’re…what? Excuse me,” his voice hardened, and his face set into a blank stare. “I live in this neighborhood.”
Suu studied his face with an unimpressed expression. “Sounds like something a hallucination would say,” she rolled her eyes. Hallucinations could live in any neighborhood, after all.
Fox-face stared at her for several moments, his lips parting and closing as if he didn’t know what to say. Suu screwed her eyes shut and opened them the way cats slow-blinked at people, hoping he’d disappear the way hallucinations usually did. Not this one, though. Real stubborn, this one.
Definitely going nuts, Suu scolded herself.
A few moments later, Fox-face sighed and mimicked her exact expression. One arm raised in the air, he pointed neatly to a compound up at the top of a hill.
“I live there; in that house over there. And you clearly don’t, since I’ve never seen you around here,” he said, meeting her eyes. “So tell me, what’re you doing here?”
Oh, Suu arched her eyebrows. F—k. Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no-oh-no.
That explained why the kids knew about him, and why the neighborhood grannies seemed to know about his past. Suu wished she could just, jump into the river and swim into the sunset. The emotion that swept over her this time was shame, and her mind began to whirl with possible excuses.
“I, uuhh…” she sank her gaze to where she wrung her hands together. “I was just…”
“You were just what,” his voice deepened, but he sounded more curious than threatening. As soon as she tipped her face up to meet his gaze, she lost control of her words.
“I should probably stay away from you,” she blurted out. Eyes wide with alarm, she slammed her hands to cover her mouth a little too late for comfort.
I should probably shut the f—k up too, she yelled at herself in her mind.
For several nerve-wracking moments, an awkward silence filled the space between them. Suu considered her ‘jumping-into-the-river’ plan again, but her instincts felt frozen-over.
Fox-face looked at her with an unreadable expression; if he felt offended by what she’d said to him, his face didn’t betray it. Gaze locked into hers, he began walking towards her, slow and steady. Her feet nearly twitched to run as he closed the distance between them and leered down at her, the last rays of the sun blazing onto him. Not a single readable emotion on that knockout face.
Suu’s heart hammered in her chest as he leaned into her, but she refused to back down. Staring back like a bewildered cat, she watched as he stopped a few inches away from her face, his long locks draping around her like a thick veil. Pursing her lips, she braced herself for a scolding; a tirade over poking her nose into his personal business. But instead, the human-and-brick-wall love-child in front of her twisted his lips into the sneakiest smile she’d ever seen thus far.
‘…but he rarely smiles,’ the little girl’s words from earlier filled her ears, and she suddenly noticed that her face felt ablaze despite the cool breeze.
She didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d smiled at her from the very beginning; for the most part. Smiles and smirks. Maybe he just thinks I have a funny face, she dismissed. In which case, go f—k yourself, Fox-face.
Fox-face tilted his head a little to the side as if to get a better look at her, and his long hair tickled parts of her face. Suu was too stunned to speak, her alarmed eyes unable to avoid his rousing gaze.
“You probably should’ve stayed away from me, yeah…” his voice dropped to a low rasp. “…but its too late for you now.”
____
And precisely because it was all too late for her now, he insisted that he walk her home. Suu tried her best to get him to back off, but he’d simply refused and shook his head.
“If, Gods-forbid, you lose your way, or you get blown into the river by a strong wind gust,” he’d shrugged, “everyone will say I did it. And then my Mom and everyone else would kill me.”
Presently, she walked beside him along the riverside-path, too tired and embarrassed to say anything to him. Bright stone-lanterns and warm city-lights cast several shades of yellow and orange light onto them. She realized that she’d never been to this part of the city, at least not when it was dark out. While it wasn’t too far from the bookstore, it was an unfamiliar part of town. Face still burning from embarrassment, she stuffed her hands in her skirt-pockets and looked up at the fading sky.
She itched to say something to him, ask him questions perhaps, but she didn’t want to push her luck. It was like she knew something and yet nothing at all about the fox-faced man strolling beside her; his gaze lingering on the flowing river. Watching the bright city-lights dance all over him, another deep wave of sadness washed over her just like before.
“He looks so sad, you know?” The little girl’s words echoed in her mind once again.
What makes you so sad, Fox-face?
Fists clenched, she tipped her head up to address him. “Um,” she blurted out before she could choose better words, “I’m sorry, but I heard you went to jail when you were a kid.”
He stopped in his tracks, and she paused a few steps ahead of him. Swallowing hard, she desperately searched his face, wondering if her question was worth hurting him over. But even if she apologized now, the words were already out there, and the damage had been done.
Regret coursed through her body in a searing flash as Fox-face looked at the ground.
Ever so slowly, he nodded.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think.
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