【Sunshower Grove】 CH4.02: Staying Away (II)

CH4.02: Staying Away (II) 【Vi】

[Content Warning: Mentions of attempted assault that some readers may find disturbing.]

Cat-Eyes was bound to find out, one way or the other. Judging by the fact that she’d turned up in his neighborhood; regardless of intention, Vi knew it was just a matter of time. Words got around faster than light around those parts.

A quick glance at her face revealed an expression that bordered on concern and confusion. Whatever it was, he desperately hoped it wasn’t fear that he saw in her eyes.

Vi hated lying, and he hated liars even more. But at the same time, lying was a tool; albeit a morally bankrupt tool, that he could use to get out of unwanted conversations. But not out of this one. Not in front of Cat-Eyes; not when her eyes stared into him as if she saw right through him. Briefly wondering if she’d even believe him in the first place, he opened his mouth to speak.

“I did,” he admitted, meeting her worried eyes.

The weight of the unasked ‘what for?’ hung heavy between them, pushing his gaze down once again.

 “Well,” he continued, digging his hands into his pockets. “I beat the living daylights out of a ‘kind-hearted, generous man’,” he said. Those were the words he’d often heard people use to describe that man. It was as if he were telling her a story that he’d heard somewhere else. He had to. Detachment was the only way for him to not devolve into rage at the thought of those memories.

Vi paused to look down again. His greatest regret from that day had been the fact that he hadn’t killed that bastard off. He watched as Cat-Eyes’ feet stood completely still; and he wondered if she was thinking of running away. Away from him.

She must be terrified of me. That thought sent a rush of sadness through him, and he blinked at the realization. But before he could think further, words came his way.

“What did he do…what did he do for you to beat him up?” Cat-Eyes whispered, her words slow and careful. The way she phrased her question made him snap his gaze at her. He’d never heard someone put it that way, and it felt strange and liberating at the same time. If she were truly afraid of him, her face did not betray it.

“Ah,” she cut in, looking flustered. “Y-You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she added with a rush, waving her hand.

Vi couldn’t stop the half-smile that spread across his face. “I don’t mind telling you,” he said softly. “But I’m sure it’ll upset you.”

Cat-Eyes paused for a moment before nodding at him. “Well…as long as it doesn’t upset you to tell me, I’d like to hear it…please.”

Vi studied her face for a few moments as he tried to find the right words. The right, short words that could summarize his answer. But it was difficult to find the right words—if there were any in the first place—to explain the rage of seeing loved ones on the brink of danger.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly slid his hands into his pockets and dropped his gaze.

“After Dad passed away, one of his close friends went to great lengths to help us…and we trusted him. Until one day,” he bit out through clenched teeth. “He decided that my sister was going to be his bride. And when she refused, he tried to put his hands on her—right as I walked in.” He clenched his fists and exhaled. “I beat him bloody,” he whispered.

If there was one thing Vi refused to forget from that day, it was the feel of it. The feeling of that scumbag’s bones crushing beneath his fists. It took his sister, mother, and several neighbors to get him off the mangled, half-dead man.

“Long story short, that bastard ended up in a coma, I ended up in a court-house, and well…” his fingers grazed the edges of the little book in his pocket. “…I’m here now.”

A heavy silence descended between them as the sounds of the gushing river and the twilight fanfare of the city filled in. Children scurried about along the streets as concerned adults yelled at them to hurry up and go home since it was getting dark and windy outside.

When the silence became unbearable, Vi spoke again.

“I wish I’d killed him,” he rasped. “But I’m glad he’s rotting away somewhere.”

Suddenly, the sound of feet shuffling towards him made him lift his gaze, and his eyes locked with a pair of cat-like ones. His heart skipped a beat at the emotion he saw there. Honey-brown orbs stared back at him, and he found himself lost in her gaze, anticipation tying his stomach into knots.

Wringing her hands, Cat-Eyes looked away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry your sister and you had to go through that,” she shook her head. “That man…he deserves to rot. And…” her voice trailed as she seemed to search for the right words. “…and if…if someone tried to hurt my sister like that, I…” She looked up at him then, her lips pressed into a tense line. “…I don’t look like it, but I’d do some damage too.”

For what felt like far too long, Vi replayed her words in his mind as he stared at her.

Most people who learned of his crime usually reacted in two ways. They either stood by him for protecting his sister, or they chided him for having ‘thrown away years of his life’ for her. The second lot he wished he could punch, but then he’d remember his promise to the old jail-warden.

“…make sure that you and that book will never return to a place like this again.”

Cat-Eyes’ determined stare was far off from the usual grimaces and sheepish looks people gave him when they heard of his crime. But although she looked calm, her glazed eyes and clenched jaw told him a different story.

For a brief moment, he felt vindicated. But before he could get his hopes high, a sour voice inside his head echoed in his ears.

Just because she agrees with you, doesn’t mean she isn’t afraid of you.

His stomach sank at the thought, and he was overcome with a desperate need to not have her think that way. The same feeling from earlier; and he frowned as he tried to figure out why that was so.

It’s not like she’s a friend, he reasoned in his mind. I doubt she’ll ever be one.

 A ‘friend’. A foreign word as far as he was concerned. It was a word that sat behind a rusty, closed gate. And if he were to open it and get inside somehow, he would find absolutely nothing. But if not ‘friend’, he wasn’t sure what else to call her. An acquaintance? A confidant, perhaps?

Slowly, he began to walk towards her until he paused by her side. When her curious gaze met his own, he willed himself to bite back a small, sad smile.

“I’ll tell you what though,” he continued walking down the path again, and Cat-Eyes followed along, looking eager to hear more. “I served very little time in jail because they released me on good behavior,” said Vi, the sad smile from before finally spreading across his lips.

“No way,” Cat-Eyes’ voice strained with shock. “Good behavior?” she asked, although he couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or if she was honestly surprised. Her eyes darted around as if she were trying to picture something in her mind.

His eyebrows twitched with amusement. “Hard to believe, isn't it,” he admitted with yet another small smile. “But there was a reason for that. Would you like to know?”

Cat-Eyes nodded with all her might before she suddenly paused. “I mean, if it’s alright,” she seemed to hesitate, crossing her arms. Vi liked that she chose odd times to be considerate. He smiled wide at her, a sneaky twitch playing at the edge of his lips.

“No reason to hide it from you of all people,” he taunted, basking in the confusion on her face. And right on cue, he pulled out the little book from his pocket and dangled it in front of her, making her eyes go wide. “It was all thanks to this,” he declared, extending that last word.

Just as he expected, she lunged towards it like a cat grabbing at a dangly toy, and he immediately shoved it back into his pocket with a cheeky laugh. Into the one place she wouldn’t dare stick her paws into. Not yet, anyway.

“Nah-ah-ah, no you don’t,” he teased, reaching out to steady her unbalanced posture. All in vain, because she steered clear of his arms with cat-like reflexes. He grinned as she kept her distance.

“Fine, I don’t care anymore,” she huffed, eyebrows scrunching. “It’s probably a bunch of weird love-letters or cringey poems anyways,” she scoffed.

Vi stilled at that, but he couldn’t stop the laugh that spilled out of him. So far and yet so close to the truth; it was going to be difficult to hide from her. And that, he realized, was incredibly thrilling; enough to send goosebumps across his skin.

As they continued to walk down the pathway lit up with streetlights, he couldn’t stop chuckling for the life of him. Warmth flooded across his face as he muffled his mouth with his hand, grateful that he could blame his blushing on the laughter.

Love-letters, huh.

As unromantic as they were, the pages within his book did feel like unhinged messages from someone special. They’d given him something to look forward to when his days had been as dark as the dying twilight that evening.

Streaks of street-light flashed onto Cat-Eyes’ face, drawing his attention to her. Crimson and golden flashes danced across her face; her lips twisting into an annoyed pout, and the curls around her face fluttering with the growing winds.

Beautiful women were neither new nor novel to Vi. Having grown up around several of them, he didn’t dwell much on outward appearances. It’s who they are on the inside that counts, he remembered Mom teaching him.

But when the word ‘beautiful’ flashed across his mind as he glanced at Cat-Eyes, his chest tightened. The word shifted in its meaning to him every time he looked at her. Lost in a daze for several moments, he barely noticed the cold winds that lashed against his burning face.

Until Cat-Eyes tilted her head up to meet his gaze with a curious frown. “Aren’t you cold?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, he realized she was right.

“Are you?” he asked in a rush, making sure she wasn’t in the wind’s path. It was a relief to find that he was shielding her from it. “I would’ve given you my overcoat to wear if I’d brought it,” he added in a frustrating tone.

“Save yourself, Fox-face,” Cat-Eyes dismissed with a strong shake of her head. “I’m all right, I’d give you my shawl-coat if I had one. You must be freezing!”

“I’m not cold at all,” he leaned in closer until their sleeves nearly touched. “I appreciate you worrying about me, though.” He wondered if he was too close, but the woman walking beside him neither flinched nor moved away.

“I just don’t want you falling sick because of me,” Cat-Eyes muttered, looking away. He could’ve sworn he saw the slightest tint of red on her cheeks, but it was hard to tell from the warm streetlights.

Vi pursed his lips tight and smiled really, really wide. Bit too late for me now, unfortunately.

_________

The bookstore came into view amongst a long row of shops and trees; with lights from buildings and street-lamps marbling across the scenery. Slate gray clouds roiled high above, flashing into murky orange every time lightning flashed within them. Cat-Eyes stopped a few yards away from the store and turned to face him with a troubled look. Vi briefly wondered if she finally reminded herself that she’d been walking around with a former criminal.

“Um, thank you so much for walking me home, and…” her voice trailed off. She wrung her hands together, eyes darting around as if she were searching for what to say next.

Vi knew all too well what nervousness looked like, having seen anxious faces turn away from him over and over again over the years. Maybe Cat-Eyes was no different. Maybe she really was scared of him after all.

It’s okay, I’m not going to come into your store this late, he thought to himself, but just as he was about to say it to her, she spoke instead.

“I’m so sorry for today,” she said, hanging her head in what he could only assume was shame.

He frowned. “Sorry for what,” he tilted his head, a slight frown flashing across his face. She immediately looked up at him, her eyes wild and lips nearly quivering.

“Everything, really. I mean, I went around asking about you all over town, isn’t that…” she trailed off again, swallowing hard. “…isn’t that weird to you?! I’m very sorry. Not to mention having you talk about your past…Gods, I’m so sorry.”

He blinked back at her as the day’s events returned to him. “Oh, right…well…I don’t really mind,” he shrugged. If anything, he was weirdly happy about it. On the other hand, Cat-Eyes looked about as mortified as a human face could possibly look.

“Well you should mind,” her voice strained. “You should be mad at me, I mean I—I basically stalked you, if you think about it!”

Vi raised an eyebrow. “No you didn’t,” he crossed his arms and leaned towards her. “Unless you planned on breaking into my room or something,” his other eyebrow rose as well.

“Good Gods, you couldn’t pay me to do that,” Cat-Eyes muttered as she looked away, face flushing. It took Vi a lot of self-control not to laugh and he held onto it for dear life. But the urge to tease began to overpower him.

“What if I paid you good money though,” he wondered with a cheeky smirk, enough to earn an angry snarl from Cat-Eyes. She crossed her arms to mimic him and stared back.

“Listen here, you big—” a booming clap of thunder halted her little scolding session, making the both of them look up. It both sounded and looked like it was going to rain any minute now, and Vi nodded at her and turned to leave.

“Alright, I should get going then. Good night Cat-Eyes—”

“W-Wait!” her voice yanked him back. “Wait a second,” she waved her hands as if to say ‘stop’ while rummaging in her handbag; as if she were searching for something. Before he could ask, she cursed under her breath and took off running back to the store. “Wait right there, please!”

Puzzled, Vi stood there for a few moments wondering what was wrong. Until it dawned on him.

Ah, it must be something about Mom’s order. A weak smile tugged at his lips. He wasn’t sure he’d visit the bookstore as often once he was done with Mom’s books. And somehow, that thought was enough to kill his smile and send a pang of sadness weighing down his chest.

But as soon as a certain curly-haired person dashed out of the bookstore towards him like a feral cat, his smile was right back. Within Cat-Eyes’ hands lay something that was clearly neither book nor receipt.

“For you,” she huffed and handed him a large bamboo umbrella. “I don’t want you getting wet,” she added, panting.

Vi stared and blinked at her several times, shifting his gaze between the umbrella and Cat-Eyes’ reddish face. She’d run around to grab this umbrella from the looks of it.

“Oh, no thank you, a little rain isn’t gonna hurt me,” he laughed as he tried to push the umbrella back into her hands. “I could always just take the bus—”

“Okay, but that bus isn’t climbing the stairs up to your house. Your precious little book will get wet!”

Vi chuckled under his breath, trying his best not to dwell on the mental image. “My book is waterproof for the most part, cold wax does a great j—”

“Well, you’re not waterproof,” Cat-Eyes huffed as she twirled a finger at him. “This is the kind of rain that’ll land you in a serious cold,” she pushed the umbrella back as she met his gaze, her eyes stern. “It doesn’t matter how you get home. Please take this.”

Warmth flooded Vi’s face, unknown emotions burning into his skin. He couldn’t let himself feel any sense of hope, be it for friendship or for whatever else. But he also couldn’t deny that it seemed like she cared about him. Or perhaps this was just basic courtesy. He was her customer after all.

“Are you sure about giving me this,” he gripped the umbrella in his other hand, as if to toy with it. “Last thing you want is for some auntie to think there’s something going on between us, Cat-Eyes,” he eyed the open windows from nearby buildings.

Cat-Eyes’ eyebrows scrunched, clearly offended by the idea. He chuckled to himself, because he saw this coming. But what he didn’t see coming, was when she crossed her arms and raised her chin at him in defiance instead of her usual teasing scowl.

“I know it makes you uncomfortable to be around someone like me,” her voice was calm and even, but it jolted him nevertheless. “But I just don’t want you getting soaked in this rain,” she added cautiously, her voice coming down to a low murmur. “I won’t force you if you don’t want it, though,” she reached for the umbrella.

Vi’s eyes widened. “Why wouldn’t I want to be around you?” he raised the umbrella away from her reach as if to tease, but his tone remained serious.

“I can be an unpleasant person to be around,” Cat-Eyes sighed, fixing him with a sad look that flooded him with a strange sense of panic. “But more importantly, I’m sure you have someone you like, or someone you’re—”

“You’re not unpleasant to be around,” he inched closer to her, eyes darting across hers in the hope that it wasn’t fear that reflected back at him. “And there’s no one—there’s no one I like,” he stressed, voice low and desperate with thinly-veiled longing.

But maybe she likes someone. The realization stabbed into his mind. Of course she has someone she likes!

Panic surged through him at the thought of her trying to get away from him, and for good reason. “I’m sorry,” he exhaled, shame prickling under his skin like a thousand needles. “I’m sorry, I never—I mean, you, you must have someone you like, of course, I’m sorry I—”

“I don’t have someone I like,” Cat-Eyes chuckled, waving her hands every which way. “Well, maybe a fictional man every now and then,” she folded her arms in a thoughtful pose. “But that’s about it.”

For several moments, Vi was lost for words. Stunned into silence from the amount of relief that washed over him. He had no reason to be that happy about it, but there he was, breathing long and deep, jaws finally unclenching. Comfort descended upon his anxious nerves, but not for long. A wave of shame followed close, rattling his mind.

Doesn’t mean she’ll ever want to be around you. It means nothing at all—

Another loud clap of thunder shook him out of his thoughts, and he watched her turn to leave while pointing at the umbrella.

“You can return it when you come back for your books,” she offered, and slowly turned to run back to the store. “Go home safe, and good night Fox-face!”

Parting his lips as if he wanted to say something, he instinctively reached out for her as she jogged away. Eyes wide, he stopped himself and pulled back with a jolt, alarmed at how his body seemed to crave her company. He watched her stride back to the store, turning back to wave goodbye to him at the entrance before rushing inside.

Rumbling thunder and ghostlike lightning lit up the late evening skies, the day’s heat wafting off of the stone pathways, welcoming the impending storm. Yes, that heat, Vi convinced himself, was the reason his face was heating up the way it was. Cold, sultry winds slammed into him once again as he walked back home, a slight drizzle speckling around him and the umbrella like flickering dust motes.

He didn’t like it one bit. Hated it even. Hated the way his heart raced at the thoughts of a certain cat-eyed girl and the scratchy words she hissed his way. The same words that had been there for him when he was crying in silence on his bunk-bed in juvenile jail.

The same words that comforted him to this day. He hated the way his vision blurred and cleared when he blinked.

Rain’s getting on my face, he cursed as he wiped his eyes.

The rain came pouring down right as he climbed up the stone stairway all the way up to the old Desakshi manor, the white noise in his mind drowning out the thunder and lightning far above Cat-Eyes umbrella.

“Vicchu, are you alright?” Mom’s concerned voice filled his ears, but in his daze he wasn’t really looking at her. “Do you have a fever?”

Yeah, maybe he did have a fever.

Maybe he should’ve stayed away from Sumitra “Cat-Eyes” Airavara.

But it was way too late for him now.

---

A/N: This chapter had me very worried, but I hope I did some justice to Vi's experience. His sister is an upcoming, supportive character so I hope you'll look forward to that. Please let me know what you think.

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